After having read Proust’s combray, part 1, I was left feeling rather uneasy. As a whole, I found myself having to go over certain sections of this text multiple times in order to try and make sense of the paragraph that I had just read, and sometimes, never coming to a conclusion. The vocabulary used in this text could definitely be described as wordy and descriptive which for me, sometimes created incredible visuals of the environment in my head , and at other times, had me feeling confused with what I had just read. At some points throughout my read, I found myself sitting there reading, yet my mind was wondering and imagining the environments in which were being described. I would almost position myself in the book, and pretend that I was the one laying in bed or watching the light shift around my bedroom from morning to night.
While starting this text off, reading the first few pages, there were beautiful descriptions as to where the story was taking place. This time of rest is usually one of relaxation, but it seems as though this is a time where Marcel explores his thoughts extensively recalling memories from his past, and more specifically his childhood. There is a constant shift between conscious and unconscious thoughts which at times become difficult to distinguish.
Mid way through, I began to notice the significant theme of relationships and more specifically how complex family dynamics begin to arise. It is quite evident that through childhood, there were issues amongst the family that are shown. There was a sincere need for the child to want to spend more time with his mother, however it seems as though the father would prevent that sort of thing from happening as it went against his beliefs. The child would only receive a small moment of affection on some nights, despite him wishing to have so much more. However, it isn’t until later, with more knowledge of the world that they are able to understand these moments and how that affected them.
Overall, this reading was quite complex for me to fully grasp and I definitely think that more time with these genres of texts will help… but for the meantime my question to you all’s how do you think a child that receives so little affection that is also so inconsistent while growing up affects their development later on? Do they seek out more love in efforts to feel what they missed growing up… or is it so unfamiliar that the thought cant be imagined?