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G.H is rich, privileged, creative and bored. She walks into the room of the cleaning lady who has lived with her for years. As she walks into the room, she has trouble remembering her name and face. She lived in a bubble and did not care much about things around her. This may not be because she’s self-centered, but rather because her head is such a mess! I hate saying this as someone who claims to be interested in psychology but how else could I refer to this? I sit with G.H in that room with a cockroach as she starts losing her sense of self and sense of reality. I had to picture the white and later yellow matter oozing out of the cockroach. The cockroach that was stuck between life and death just like she was stuck inside her head between reality and psychosis. 

Whenever I start a novel, I avoid reading or knowing anything about it. I think it makes for a much different experience. Last week, reading Bonjour Tristesse, I started reading thinking Tristesse was a character’s name and kept waiting for them to show up, ha! In this case however, I wish I knew that I was going to be reading 160 pages of random ramblings leading up to her EATING the roach! 

Earlier in the book some of the things she said made very little sense to me, while others I could relate to. However, halfway into the book, I did not want to relate or agree with anything she said! When I finished the book, I thought I just didn’t like it, but as I am reflecting now I realize that it had aroused very strong feelings in me. Not positive feelings, mind you. And that’s what makes it hard to allow myself to be interested in her thoughts and perspective on what it means to be human. What God is. Tedium. Love. Abandonment. All the topics that otherwise I would love to hear someone’s thoughts on, but not her! I’m wondering if you’ve also had strong feelings towards G.H as well? Do you pity her? Loathe her? Like her? Normally, she would be someone I’d feel bad for but I really don’t and I can’t articulate why. 

G.H is rich, privileged, creative and bored. She walks into the room of the cleaning lady who has lived with her for years. As she walks into the room, she has trouble remembering her name and face. She lived in a bubble and did not care much about things around her. This may not be because she’s self-centered, but rather because her head is such a mess! I hate saying this as someone who claims to be interested in psychology but how else could I refer to this? I sit with G.H in that room with a cockroach as she starts losing her sense of self and sense of reality. I had to picture the white and later yellow matter oozing out of the cockroach. The cockroach that was stuck between life and death just like she was stuck inside her head between reality and psychosis. 

Whenever I start a novel, I avoid reading or knowing anything about it. I think it makes for a much different experience. Last week, reading Bonjour Tristesse, I started reading thinking Tristesse was a character’s name and kept waiting for them to show up, ha! In this case however, I wish I knew that I was going to be reading 160 pages of random ramblings leading up to her EATING the roach! 

Earlier in the book some of the things she said made very little sense to me, while others I could relate to. However, halfway into the book, I did not want to relate or agree with anything she said! When I finished the book, I thought I just didn’t like it, but as I am reflecting now I realize that it had aroused very strong feelings in me. Not positive feelings, mind you. And that’s what makes it hard to allow myself to be interested in her thoughts and perspective on what it means to be human. What God is. Tedium. Love. Abandonment. All the topics that otherwise I would love to hear someone’s thoughts on, but not her! I’m wondering if you’ve also had strong feelings towards G.H as well? Do you pity her? Loathe her? Like her? Normally, she would be someone I’d feel bad for but I really don’t and I can’t articulate why.